12/25/14-Merry Christmas

12/20/14-Adjustments in Paradise

A lot has happened since my last post.  It will take several posts to convey it all.

First off, the picture above represents love and fun.  The faces are blurred because I don’t know anyone.  Not really.  Well, except for the palace purchasers.  They are in this photo, but for the most part, I don’t know anyone else and it seemed inappropriate to put them on the www without their permission so I blurred their faces.  It was very kind of the palace purchasers to invite me to their annual Christmas party.  I was very grateful to be there.  You see, I was out and about earlier in the day and got lost, again.  I barely made it home in time for the party.

And to be honest, had it not been the palace purchasers, my friends, I would have stayed home.  Getting lost and exhausted on what seemed an otherwise non-symptomatic day, really rattled my cage, so to speak.  I went to the party with no make-up, an outfit thrown together at the last minute, and no shame. I had a great time and I felt safe.  Of course the commute was brutal.  I had to walk a whole of probably ten yards. LOL.

I have come to the conclusion that instead of “battling” my symptoms and trying to live a “normal” life (whatever that is), I need to make peace with what is and embrace it.  So, I have begun a journey to be realistic about my capabilities, adjust daily as needed and implement as many tools as I can to make it all easier.

Dipped, Busted, Drenched and Dropped

Over the last couple of weeks I have had many successes but I have also dumped my oatmeal in a pan of sausage links instead of a bowl.  That’s not too abnormal I guess if one is distracted enough.  After all, we all have brain burps, but I continued cooking it because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the picture. I don’t cook on days I’m symptomatic, but I wasn’t symptomatic when I started preparing my breakfast.  I got alarmingly lost when I wasn’t symptomatic and I poured oatmeal on sausage.  This sudden onset is new for me.  And a bit scary.  So I adjust.

FYI - sausages, even warmed up, don’t taste so good after being cooked in oatmeal and rinsed.

I’m staying home more and I plan ahead more.  Even so, mayhem in the kitchen continues. I dropped a dozen eggs the other day.  Somehow, they exploded as though tiny grenades were detonated inside each one.  That was fun to clean up.  The next day I dropped a huge bucket of water in the middle of the dining room/kitchen/living room.  Remember, I live in a 26’ bumper pull trailer.

FYI - one bucket of water can drown an entire house.

I was recently given a carton of 28 mini cupcakes.  I managed to drop 21 of them.  Each one found unique places to slather icing as they found their way to the floor, and I don’t think a single one of them landed right side up.  Nonni came running over and before I could stop her she managed to get one lick in.

FYI - this icing should have come with a warning - “Caution, if dogs lick this, they will make a horrible scrunchy face and back their way out of the room as if under attack.”  (At least I didn’t have to worry about her eating it and getting sick.)

The kitchen seems to be an ongoing saga for me.  It appears that when I’m not cooking, or dropping things as the case may be, I forget to eat.  Yes, I literally forget to eat.  I suppose, as in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” that could be seen as a good thing.  But it’s not.  I read recently that one of the symptoms of advancing Alzheimer’s is the loss of desire for food.  I don’t have Alzheimer’s but a lot of my symptoms are similar.  So, I’ve added meals to my daily checklist.  Another adjustment.

The palace purchasers gave me my Christmas present early.  It allows me to cook safely.  It’s a crockpot that has only timed settings.  How awesome is that?!? I can choose between HI for 4 or 6 hours, and LOW for 8 or 10 hours.  I don’t have to worry about turning it off (or not).  It’s magic!  And there is a chicken cooking in it right now with bbq sauce, onions, celery and spices.  Yum.  I share that because it took me 1.5 hours to accomplish that feat of putting the chicken in the pot.  I know that’s not a normal pace.  I’m adjusting.

Living with HS can be daunting.  It certainly at times is frustrating, but so far I’ve been able to find ways around my symptoms.  As long as I can take care of me and my furbabies, I will remain independent.  Bentley has been ill lately and I need to give him 2 pills a day.  I worried at first.  Phone reminders, sticky notes, etc., just weren’t doing the trick.  Then I came up with the idea of storing his pills in their food bowls.  Now, before I feed them each time, I give him his pill.  Voila!  Problem solved.

And feeding them twice a day is on my checklist so it’s all good.  I recently bought a little piggy chalkboard that fits perfectly behind my stove and I use it to track my tallies for meals, water, feeding the dogs and my vitamins.  It’s an adjustment, and it’s cute!

To be honest, I was beginning to “get my dobber stuck in the dirt” as my great grandmother used to say.  There are times I feel discouraged and fearful, concerned that I will not be able to remain autonomous and build self-reliance.  Then a few things happened.

YOUCARING

My friend Tracy created a fundraising campaign for me (here). The money raised so far has allowed me to keep my car one more month.  Thank you donors!  The financial support is a Godsend in and of itself, but the campaign has also given me much needed moral support.  The outpouring of encouragement has lifted my spirits right when I need it the most.  I am strengthened and blessed.  Namaste.

INSURANCE

I have also been blessed to get insurance effective January 1 through Obamacare.  It doesn't matter what your political views are, and this is NOT a forum for that, but I will be able to see doctors again in 2015. This initiative has given me great peace of mind and quite possibly has saved my life. How do you put a price or premium on that?  I am grateful.

RESOURCES
I am reading a book, “Still Alice,” that will premier as a movie mid-January.  It is a moving story that will walk viewers through a poignant perspective of someone developing Alzheimer’s.  The similarities to my life leave me rattled.  I am learning a lot from this author who did her research well. The story of how this book landed in my lap is synchronous and I will share that event another time. If you want to know what some of my days are like, read the first few chapters of this book.  Hopefully, my symptoms will max out and remain manageable.  Those with Alzheimer's are not so lucky.  It is not a depressing book.  It is awe-inspiring.  I highly recommend it.

At one point in the story, it is noted that advanced Alzheimer’s is a result of neurons bundling on the hippocampus, an entanglement of sorts.  That hit me hard since my traumatic brain injury (TBI) is scarring on the hippocampus (HS).  I almost passed out when I read this part of the book.  I had to force myself to breathe.  I put the book down and began searching the internet.  It led me to this article (here) about Thomas Dixon, a TBI survivor that uses Twitter as assistive technology.  I read his story and immediately created my own private Twitter account.  It gives me great hope for managing my time and memory lapses.  It is a brilliant concept and Mr. Dixon travels, speaks and even recently finished his master’s degree.  I haven’t had time to read or research more (yet), but I will.  I went from barely being able to breathe to tears of immense joy.  Thank you Mr. Dixon!

Then today, all of this gave me the courage to hire a coach.  Thank you Angelique Giron!  She will help me strategically manage my lifestyle.  Right now, that is no less important than actual medical care and I am grateful to everyone’s support that is allowing me this opportunity.

In addition to improving my daily living, working with her will, among other things, help me publish my books. I have no idea where this will all lead but I need help and I have been praying for the right person to guide me through all of these adjustments and help me manage a productive life so that I can accomplish the dreams this beautiful Universe and God have given me.  I am still Debra and I can still write.

In fact, I have a 3rd conference call with Hay House/Balboa Press on the 29th about a book series I am writing, “Ariana, Star Giver.”  In the meantime I have decided to self-publish my collection of short stories through Lulu.  (Shout out to my cousin Bob for helping me with that decision!)  It turns out their technical requirements are beyond my capabilities at this point, but I am confident that just like Angelique, the right person at the right time will show up in this universe to help me get this task accomplished too.  If you know of someone, please send them my way.  I am ready for and expect great things to happen!

It’s funny.  I used to write technical manuals and now I can’t even decipher them, but I can adjust to that as well.  And I do so gladly with a grateful heart.  It’s just another day in Paradise. Life is good, always.

12/7/14-My Festive Weekend

On Friday, I woke up bright eyed and full of energy.  I had forgotten what it feels like to have so many good days in a row!  I could get used to this!

However, as you can tell from the picture, Nonni and Bentley weren't too happy.  Look at their poor little faces as I make them get up so I can make the bed.  Nonni is yawning!  But don’t feel bad for them… they each have two (2!) of their own beds in the living room.  You’d think I was sending them to the salt mines.  LOL.

They got happy though once we settled on the deck and they got to watch the sun come up while mama worked.

I love when I can get up early in the morning while all is quiet…. except for the sounds of nature.  In addition to Nonni snoring, I could hear birds of different feathers, horses, chickens, roosters and cows.  It was a wonderful way to start the day.  It’s not a very good pic but this is a Woodpecker (blue arrow) dive bombing a Cardinal (red arrow) on my feeder.

I worked all day and got a lot done.  It felt great.  I didn’t make it to the Goliad Lighted Christmas Parade that evening, but I made it to the Christmas Market Days on Saturday.  All vendors had to offer handmade goods.  It was quite fun.

Christmas on the Square

Did you see the 1988 movie, Funny Farm, with Chevy Chase and Madolyn Smith Osbourne? Well, an old-fashioned Christmas in Goliad feels a little like that, sans the snow.  I didn’t stay long, so I missed the bands and evidently the longhorns (cattle not football), but the town and the vendors and the people and the carolers…. Well, it was perfect.  And on the way home I stopped at a yard sale and got a hammock w/stand for $5!!! Awe-some!!!

12/4/14-MYL OMG WOW

Mediate Your Life Immersion Program 2015
Cover Photo and Video by J Kendel Johnson

I am grateful to report that I enjoyed another great day of exemplary health and it allowed me to take care of some things – such as the legal papers for my power of attorney and medical directives. Ugh. I also met with staff at a facility to explore options around assistance and possible “day care”.  It was a productive day and I got to be with some wonderful, caring people.  It was also a day that did not meet my need for autonomy, independence or respect.  By the end of the day I was exhausted and headed to what author Brene’ Brown describes as a shame spiral.

Because of this wonderful program, Mediate Your Life, I was able to reach out to an empathy buddy that walked me through a session of feelings and needs.  In less than 30 minutes I went from feeling degradation and shame to feeling heard, understood, loved, cared for, hopeful and even courageous.

Now that I have clarity around my feelings and needs, I can also process and practice communicating those feelings and needs to the people I will continue to interact with in a loving way that honors them and gives them the respect they deserve.  Because of this training, I will be able to communicate authentically from love with honesty.  And I'm a novice!

So, for me, MYL doesn't just navigate and resolve internal and external conflicts.  It is also a spiritual tool that helps each of us remember who we truly are so that we can communicate from our Higher selves and promote peace and love.  It is a way of life I aspire to every day.  Today, thanks to this training and the wonderful people living this program, I reiterate that I went from resentment, anger and fear to peace, love and empathy in less than 30 minutes.  Wow.

My friend J, producer extraordinaire, created a video that is a beautiful expression of MYL.  Click here to watch.  You'l be glad you did.  And they offer a free practice call on the 17th (info here).  MYL can change your life.  I’m just sayin’.  ;))

12/3/14-De Plane, De Plane

I have been in bed since Sunday.  This time the symptoms were far different than they ever have been.  The best way I know how to describe it is that it felt like I was being held by my ankles and hung upside down.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't shake that feeling.  Nor could I stay awake.  For the most part, I was horizontal.  Attempting physical activity and cognitive skills made me feel like I was running in mud.

While lying there, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the end of the road for me.  Questions ran through my mind like a slow dripping faucet, "What if I don't recover from this and what happens if it gets worse?"  What if.  What if.  What if.  I was driving myself crazy.

I used every tool I know to stay positive - prayer and meditation, phone calls, prayer and meditation, more phone calls.  Reading and writing were minimal and only caused me to fall asleep even faster.  I was a mess and depression was on the prowl.  God, friends and family helped keep it at bay.

One friend has offered to set up a fundraising website for me.  I have mixed emotions about it, but I also am out of options.  It gave me hope on some otherwise dark days so we'll see what happens.  I'm dependent on her expertise to pull it off so if we are able to get it up and running, I'll let you know.

HS is so strange.  According to my research, it is common for symptoms to vary so widely:

The seizure always starts in one region [of the brain] but may disperse to others.  That is why the symptoms are different each time, and why the duration and recovery is so varied, but they are not epileptic or convulsive seizures.

I am grateful that around 1:30P today, my symptoms lifted.  All of a sudden the horizon tilted upward to my left and then tilted upward to my right - much like the flight landing gauge pictured above.  I stopped what I was doing and without notice, just like that, the horizon balanced and my symptoms were gone. De plane landed.  I have enjoyed clarity of mind and energy the rest of the day.  It has been glorious!

I'm almost afraid to go to bed because I never know what the next day will bring, but I think I'll borrow what I've learned in Unity:

EXPECT AMAZING THINGS

And so it is.  Goodnight everyone.  Sweet dreams.  Rise and shine tomorrow with the knowledge that this is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it.  (Psalm 118:24)

11/26/14-40 Thanksgivings Later

Compliments of Very Vintage Images

This is a story about my Thanksgiving in 1974.  I was 16, working 3 part-time jobs and living in my sister’s apartment while she lived with her boyfriend (now husband).  I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my boss and his family.  I was a guest and knew no one.  My family was scattered in the wind with other plans and my BFF and I had just had a major spat and busted up.  I was alone and overwhelmed with life, and I tried to take my life.

 

There wasn’t any one thing that day that “drove” me to that decision. A recurring thought I had was that I didn’t belong there or anywhere.  Everyone was laughing and carrying on, reminiscing about their family memories, and I knew no one.  I went to the bathroom and took as many pills as I could find.  I don’t even know what they were.  I was in and out of consciousness by the time the ambulance arrived.  I can’t even remember that poor family’s name.  They were kind enough to invite me to their family dinner and that was the thanks they got.  I never saw them again.  I think of them often and send them heartfelt love and gratitude for inviting me to Thanksgiving, and for saving my life.

 

Today, I am reminded of 1974, not only because of the 40-year anniversary date, but because this year feels a little like that one.  I will be a guest having Thanksgiving dinner with new, wonderful friends, but I won’t know anyone, not really.  The difference is, even though I will not be with familiar friends or family, I do not, and will not, feel alone.

 

Today, in GRACE, I am never alone.  I love and I am loved. The truth is, it no longer matters what I’m doing, or who I’m with, or what others are doing, or not doing.  The holes inside that used to feel like infinite vacuums, especially as a child and young adult, are completely filled.

 

Today, I am aware of the Christ within, the Goodness of God and I know there is only one God.  That ONENESS is all around me, in everything I see, hear, and feel, always.  My GRATITUDE for all that is exceeds my ability to describe it in words.  My heart is full.

 

I don’t know what will ultimately happen with my HS diagnosis, but I do know that it has forced me to look at each day with renewed hope and new vision.  I try not to take a single moment for granted and I work at replacing fear with faith. I pray and meditate and really listen for God’s guidance.  It comes in most extraordinary ways.

 

I can promise you this…

 

If you are in any pain at all this Holiday Season - emotional, physical, mental, fiscal or even spiritual - know that it is temporary and that you are loved beyond measure.  All that ever was, all that ever will be, is already here.  All our needs are met and all our dreams lie within our expanded awareness.  I am a firm believer that we see it when we believe it.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

11/01/14-NaNoWriMo

nanowrimo.org

In spite of a rough day full of  battles in faith, fear and spiritual growth, through plenty of tears, I am grateful to have completed Day 1 of the NaNoWriMo challenge.  If I indeed only have 6 months-one year left to be a vessel for Spirit on this Earth (which I still do not own as my truth), I am determined to at least finish one of my books! 1,667 words required today and I spilled 2,410 which completes the rough draft of my first 2 chapters.  Woohoo and Whew!  Only 29 more days to go.

Thank you to all for your loving care, prayers and kind words.

By the way, the name of the book I've chosen for the contest is, "Ariana, Star Giver."  Anyone curious?

10/26/14-An Upright Day

Today was stellar.  With my symptoms all but gone, I was able to spend it upright.  What a blessing mobility is.  I wish I knew how to do cartwheels.  I never could, but today I was so happy to feel better, if I ever had been able to I would have probably tried.

The only incident that occurred was that I put something in the car and promptly found myself at the back of my yard near the barn.  For just a brief moment I stood there and wondered what was wrong with this picture.  Then I remembered, "Oh yeah, I need to go through the gate."  It puzzled me for just a split second when the gate wasn't there, and then I had a good laugh.  My dogs were looking at me through the fence with a look that said, "Whatcha doin' Mom.  We don't know this game."  But of course, Nonni and Bentley being their lovable selves were more than happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do.  I really did laugh out loud.  You see, the gate is right by my car - in the front yard!  As I walked back to the front, Nonni and Bentley bounced along, running to and fro, just as excited that I was coming around to the gate as if I'd been gone for weeks.  George Carlin used to do a great routine around dogs and their disregard for timelines.  More laughter.  And it was my last symptom of the day.  Laughter truly is healing.  Just ask Christina Conner, LUT, and those who attended her Laughter Workshop at the USCR Conference.  I choose joy.  I am grateful.

I also got to see a large flock of Green Jays today.  Wow.  That brought me great pleasure.  I was in the yard and they just kept coming.  Every single one of them landed in the tree right above me.  I let the tears flow as I watched them in flight and thought of Megon McDonough's song, "God Spoils Me" (click here to listen to snippet).  I didn't get to take a pic so I am sharing this one found through a Google image search, credit given.

JRComptondotcom

I got some things done throughout the day and after 2 sedentary days was a bit stir crazy so I took a short drive on the back roads.  We were gone for 45 minutes (including a stop to let the dogs roam free), and we never saw another car.  I love living in the country.  We did see a dozen deer and the stunning longhorn that is in the pic at top.  Wasn't it nice of this him to pose so perfectly for us?

Life is good.  I hope you too had a day where you recognized Grace, Gratitude and Oneness.  Namaste.

10/24/14-A Symptomatic Day

I am unable to walk today AND I am so blessed. Gratitude flows from every scintilla of my being. Click (here) to find out why.  ❤️

10/20/14-Time to Get Real - Messy & Imperfectly

My first newsletter was titled, “My Awakening Journey”, and I posted it here on my blog, (9/29).  It carried you through the events that have occurred in my life since October 2012 when I told Spirit, “Whatever you want of me, I will do.”  For me, it has been an amazing journey.

The title this time is “Time to Get Real - Messy & Imperfectly” and by the end of this post you will understand why.  First, let me catch you up on a few things.

Last week was our 2014 Unity South Central Region annual conference.  It was held at Unity of Houston.  I met some awe-mazing, wonderful people and learned a ton – spiritually and especially about coordinating a conference.  I'm looking forward to implementing the lessons learned - in my life as well as a means of enhancing our 2015 conference.  I also had the opportunity to perform sign language with the incomparable Michael Gott as he sang his awe-inspiring song, “Nearer than the Air”.  What a privilege and blessing that was.

The week before that, one of my besties, Joanne, came to see me – all the way from Canada!  We had such fun while she was here.  My dogs went to the beach for the first time and I got to kayak for the first time.  While visiting Aransas Pass Wildlife Refuge, Joanne saw a 5’ rattlesnake for the first time.  We were bummed we didn’t see any alligators.  That would have been a first for all of us!

The week prior to Joanne's visit was a difficult transition week for me.  For one, I sold Fiona.  The new owners will be here sometime this week to pick her up and make final payment.  They are making their way down from Colorado.  They bought her sight unseen and she is going to a good home (here), and will be a part of wildlife management and rescue.  Wow.  For that I am grateful.

Secondly, I no longer work at the State Park.  And here’s the kicker, and the reason it’s time for me to get real …. For those that this might shock, I apologize.  Please feel free to contact me and we will talk it through ....

For some time now (a few years, actually), my official diagnosis has been Hippocampal Sclerosis.  I recently met with my doctors and it seems that my scar tissue from an old brain injury is calcifying again.  If you want more information on it, I can send you a research summary.  I want to stress that most days I am fine, and I have taken measures to control it, if not reverse it.  From a medical perspective however, the new prognosis is not good. 

The doctors believe I may only have 6 months to 1 year of quality life left.  However, I know that I will have a different outcome and I ask that you hold that vision with me please – vision nothing less than me in my Highest self, in perfect health and love, with clarity of mind and focus.  To borrow words I recently heard from someone who announced something similar, "If you are not able to do that, then please forget that I have shared this with you."

I am not in denial, nor am I doing a spiritual bypass.  I just know to my core that the story according to my doctors is not my truth.  In Rev. Gott’s Wednesday Night Live stirring message ("As Within, So Without" on 10/15), he reminded us to not give up until we receive our blessing.  I demand my blessing.  There is something good for me here.  I am not giving up! 

Like my title says, it’s “time to get real.”  So, I am going to take a courageous leap and do the things my heart longs for me to do. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  My deepest desire is to be a vessel for Spirit.  I don’t have credentials and I don’t have any of my writings published yet, AND I am out of time waiting for that perfect, elusive moment to automagically appear.  It may be messy and at times it may not be pretty, and it certainly will not be perfect, but I am finally ready to do that which Spirit asks of me, again.

I have wanted to write and be a public speaker for as long as I can remember.  I have run from it far and wide and avoided it in a variety of ways.  I no longer have the luxury of time for further avoidance, nor do I want to continue being evasive.  I am ready to move in to what is mine to do.  

There are 2 ways you can help me.

1)      Do you know a group that could use an inspirational speaker?

I am called to share my story as a TBI (traumatic brain injury) survivor.  My varying symptoms now force me to live in the moment and I choose gratitude on a daily basis.  My life has been transformed and along the way I have come to know Grace, Gratitude and Oneness.  I am infinitely blessed and I am grateful for all that is.  If Spirit can use me to help others move in to awareness and expansion, even just one person, then that’s all that matters.

A friend recently recommended that I make a few videos to give people examples of my talks.  I will do that, and I will do it as soon as possible, and I hope to have speaking engagements right away – without having to wait until the videos are made - practice jump starts if you will.  I promise the audience will not be disappointed, and I can promise that because this is being led by Spirit, not me.

While speaking from such a personal platform is new for me, I am an experienced public speaker and can tailor my talks to any forum or group, any size crowd, for time periods from 15 minutes to 1 hour.  I just want the opportunity to begin, and for now all I ask is that my travel expenses be covered.  Please help me find venues.

2)      I also need an income stream fairly quickly.

I am grateful to be able to continue my administrative work for the regional board.  While at the conference they voted to expand my duties and they gave me a pay raise.  What a powerful, wonderful blessing (!), especially since I chose to take the leap of faith and had already left my day job at the State Park.  I left for health reasons, and to follow my calling by Spirit.  Working from home, living in the country, and no commute allows spaciousness on which I can build health and stability.

So, as of this month I am, for the most part, self-employed.  I need to augment my income fairly quickly.  The regional job allows me to pay my bills and keep my car, but it does not leave anything extra for things like food and unexpected expenses.

Here’s how you can help with that….

Do you know anyone that could use help maintaining their email list?  Perhaps you know a musician or speaker that gathers email addresses everywhere they go, but are not diligent about maintaining their contact information list.  That’s where I come in.  I envision being able to support musicians, speakers, small ministries/groups, small business owners and entrepreneurs.  They can send me their client contact information in any form – by email, text, voice mail, sticky note, or snail mail – and I will maintain their mailing lists for them.  PLUS, I will create and email info to their contacts once a month.  It can be a basic email, flyer, itinerary, or a newsletter – whatever they want to communicate.  They tell me what they want to say; I take care of the rest.

Here are my rates.  Please help me find clients.  I look forward to being of service.

Email List Management*: $10, 1-100 $25, 101-250 $35, 251-499 $50, 500-1000 *Includes one monthly mailing.

 --------------------------------------------------------

I know not what tomorrow brings.  I’m fully aware that none of us do, but I am living that awareness now up close and personal.  It is such a mixed bag of beautiful blessings.

Being able to work from home, gather clients, establish speaking engagements, and write, is a dream come true for me.  I highly recommend you don’t wait for something like a brain injury to help you live your dreams.

What is on your bucket list?  What is your dream?  Do it today.

I close by sharing 2 videos with you of people, young and old, that know how to live courageously, authentically and from vulnerability.  May we all shine so brightly, always.  Namaste.

A Courageous, 80 year-old Beauty

An Authentic Savant Boy

I love you,

Debra

9/29/14-My First Ever Newsletter

I've missed blogland!!

Here's my first newsletter (here).  I hope this newsletter format works for me so I can start keeping up with my blog again.  I hope too that you have some time to catch up.  I look forward to hearing from you!

XOXO

5/1/14 - Happy May Day!

Bentley and Nonni, 5/1/14

A side note (but relevant to the story)…  For those of you who might not be aware, I recently did a number on my ankle.  Not once, but twice.  The good news is, it’s not broken and nothing is torn.  It is a painful, not too pretty, degree 3 tendon strain, but it is healing nicely.

With this injury, I am afforded extra time to quiet my mind and connect with Spirit.  So many beautiful things are flowing from that.  Here is something I read today that resonated strongly with me:

"It's not your work to make anything happen.  It's your work to dream it and let it happen.  Law of Attraction will make it happen.  In your joy, you create something, and then you maintain your vibrational harmony with it, and the Universe must find a way to bring it about.  That's the promise of Law of Attraction."

-Abraham 

I sat with that for quite a while.  I pondered it in meditation from elevated consciousness.  For that moment in time, all my dreams came true and I was boundless and joy-FULL.  It was glorious.

From that, I decided to follow the spiritual nudges I have been greatly aware of the last few days, but haven’t had the courage to act on.  Actually, I am at a place in my life where I feel like, when I allow it, I am being pulled by Spirit rather than nudged.  Whether you call it pulled, nudged, fearful or faithful, I hobbled up to the park office this afternoon.

Yes, yes, I know… I’m not supposed to walk around like that for at least another week, but sometimes, a girl has to do, well, whatever.  ;)   It was a difficult journey, not so much because of my ankle, but because I needed to let them know I was only going to pay rent for one week and then would be moving (they’ve gone up on rates plus I have a few other active factors going on in my life).  It was a leap of faith because I was doing it in obedience to Spirit, without a clue as to where I would park Fiona once the week was up.  I don't know about you, but I don't always handle such unknowns really well, but hand-in-hand with Spirit, I am in complete Peace through this process.  Awe-mazing.  So, I walked in and made my announcement.

Their Response

They just stood there.  Blinking.  Then they looked at each other and the manager asked me, “If you help out in the office a couple of Saturdays this month, and get free rent for May, would that work for you?”

My Response

I just stood there.  Blinking.  Until I became aware that everyone was staring at me, waiting on a reply.  Then finally I found my voice, “Yeah, that’ll work.”

We all cracked up laughing.

Evidently they had just been talking about needing a camp host when I walked in.  They said I was as white as a sheet so I was ushered to a chair.  They got me some water, handed me a pen and a one-page application that had all of 4 blanks on it.  Just like that my needs for a domicile were met.  And the term is unlimited.  It is up to me.  Wow.

I AM SO BLESSED; SO GRATEFUL.

In addition to being the official May Day,  and the end of my personal May Day, it is May 1st and includes another 1st for me.  I don’t usually join online-promotional-forwarding-you've got to try this- type things, but I recently signed up for exactly one of those.   It is 100happydays.com.

I signed up for it because I want to concentrate only on the positive aspects of my life and the things that bring me joy.  I believe it is possible to be happy, joyous and free 365 days a year.  And, I believe this promotional campaign will help me focus on that.  I also agreed to use the required hash tag with each post because I believe if everyone did this, the world would completely change in 100 days.

So, my first Happy Days photo on the first of May, the official May Day, is an unlikely candidate... a pic of my new Saturday work shirt that ended my May Day for a place to park Fiona.  Thank you Abraham.  Thank you Universe.  Thank you God.

#100happydays  #happyday1

So far, I’m diggin’ this living in the unknown, being open to expansion, staying grateful and joy-FULL, while dreaming and letting it happen.

Happy May Day!

3/19/14-Cosmic Inflation, Ripples of Fabric in Space-Time

The news this morning blew me away.  I actually logged on around 3A  because I thought Spirit woke me from my sleep to send an email to my boss about a situation at work.  Instead, I was lead to this…

Scientists discover “a gravitational wave that could both stretch and squeeze space and time.”

“Scanning the universe from the South Pole, they found A RIPPLE”:

scientists-confirm-universe-had-growth

big-bang-echoes-discovered-scientists

astronomers-discover-echoes-expansion-big-bang

5 Sigma—What’s That?

freaky-physics-why-discovery-gravitational-waves-blow-mind

major-discovery-smoking-gun-universes-incredible-big-bang

From Albert Einstein (my hero)…. to Prof. Andre Linde, WE ARE ONE:

moment-physicist-told-his 30-year old theory authenticated

stanford-professor-andrei-linde-celebrates

And as if that wasn’t enough, there was also this….

seeing the sounds of space

All of it went through me like a shock wave.  It touched so many areas of my life I actually shook, and then I cried.  Then I expressed great gratitude in prayer and meditation.  In this moment, the scientist, soul-seeker and star-giver in me are all complete, like never before.  Putting it into words is beyond difficult, but I want to try and share my spiritual experience from this morning with you.

 “Just after the big bang, the theory has been that the universe went through a huge growth spurt, expanding faster than the speed of light.”  Using a BICEP2 telescope in the South Pole, made of 512 superconducting microwave detectors, a team of scientists has actually captured evidence of the wave particles (ENERGY) from that expansion.  Wow, oh wow.

I might as well address up front that I realize there are those in the radical religious communities that are going to have a field day (pun intended) with this scientific discovery and maybe even this blog post.  Around that, I will simply remind us all that there is no separation. There is only One God.  Within that, there is also no separation between science and spirituality. There is only Oneness.

For those who continue to believe in the separateness of an outside God, an external source, then I offer as a possibility within that concept that such a God could have used the “big bang” to perform His creation.  Such a God would be capable of creating a “five-sigma at.2 translation gravitational ripple”.  Would He not?  And a 24-hour “day” is a modern definition that should probably not be translated to a 7-day biblical timeframe, IMHO.  The Oneness I believe in is omniscious infinite possibility.  I hold for you the ability to expand your awareness and your consciousness so that you hear Truth when Spirit speaks.  We all have that capability, and I suspect that as long as we are in human form, it will continue to be different for everyone.  I’m okay with that, and, I maintain: We are One.

space.com/big-bang-universe-10-steps-explained

One of the scientists on the team said, “This [discovery] gives us a wealth of information about how the energy density of the universe evolved during the times that the observable scales in our universe exited that horizon.  That has the potential to teach us a lot about physics at the extreme frontiers.”  My thought is that it already has.  To realize this is only the beginning of expansive scientific knowledge around ripples in space-time is right in line with the expansive spiritual dimension we are experiencing.  It is a shift and a transcendence that is occurring globally and it is accelerating exponentially.  People feel it and are experiencing it even when they don’t know what it is because it’s universal Oneness, a Christ Consciousness that is bigger than any of us.  It is creation moving through us as a whole.

I learn a lot from my friend Rev. David Howard.  He is a conduit for Spirit and a living example of love and Oneness with Christ-mindedness.  We have many masters on this Earth, past and present, from which to learn (Pam Grout, Wayne Dyer, Deepok Chopra, Robert Brumet, Suzanne Segal, Gangaji)… too many to list here and I encourage you to discover and learn from as many as you can. I maintain that Spirit can give you the discernment to know Truth from each.  Take what you will and leave the rest.

I am learning, from Rev. Aliza Robinson, to release and transcend from the spaciousness of shift work within quantum fields of spiritual energy.  She recently shared some things that connect science and spirituality for me.  This morning, reading about this new astronomical astrological discovery ignited all of it for me.

In physics, particularly quantum physics, particles, waves, and fields of energy are explored.  We can apply those same principles to integrate, move through and release that which we still carry with us, that which is blocking us from expansion and greater awareness.

Rev. Aliza states that doing work from this “metaphysical and subconscious is hundreds of times more vast and faster than the conscious.  The wave is infinite possibility.  When the wave is pulled out of the infinite it becomes a particle (reasoning, judgment, our story, our childhood, etc.).”  Instead of ignoring the particle, we can look at it, accept it, integrate with it and release it back up into the wave.  I’ve done this work with her many times.  What could take a decade or two of therapy, can be done through this shift work in seconds.  It is powerful.  It is amazing.

In one of the videos linked above, Prof. Linde says that the referenced discovery is talking about “a billionth of a billionth of a billionth of a millionth of a second.”

Do you ever get the feeling time is accelerating?  Everything seems to be happening faster.  Modern technology leads us to observable discoveries that weren’t possible even a decade ago, and modern technology also lets us learn about such discoveries immediately.  We no longer have to wait for the Sunday paper or the evening news that used to give us our only glimpse of the world in 30-minutes.  Now we have glimpses of entire universes instantly!  It is unfathomable that past generations had to wait on Pony Express or stagecoaches for very limited news from the outside world.  Everything is faster today, even our daily schedules AND our spiritual growth.

Rev. Aliza also says, “We used to could do this [transcendental work] on the mental level, but now as consciousness changes we have to do the work from a vibrational field without processing through the conscious mind.”

Who knew any of this would ever be possible?  Oh yeah, God/Spirit/Oneness knew.  All that ever was, all that is, all that will ever be, is here & right now possible.

The scientists also announced, “The ripple was twice as large as expected.”  Really?  I suspect the magnitude is actually inconceivable, at least from human form.  A ripple has begun.  We get to choose whether or not to catch the wave.