12/3/14-De Plane, De Plane

I have been in bed since Sunday.  This time the symptoms were far different than they ever have been.  The best way I know how to describe it is that it felt like I was being held by my ankles and hung upside down.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't shake that feeling.  Nor could I stay awake.  For the most part, I was horizontal.  Attempting physical activity and cognitive skills made me feel like I was running in mud.

While lying there, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the end of the road for me.  Questions ran through my mind like a slow dripping faucet, "What if I don't recover from this and what happens if it gets worse?"  What if.  What if.  What if.  I was driving myself crazy.

I used every tool I know to stay positive - prayer and meditation, phone calls, prayer and meditation, more phone calls.  Reading and writing were minimal and only caused me to fall asleep even faster.  I was a mess and depression was on the prowl.  God, friends and family helped keep it at bay.

One friend has offered to set up a fundraising website for me.  I have mixed emotions about it, but I also am out of options.  It gave me hope on some otherwise dark days so we'll see what happens.  I'm dependent on her expertise to pull it off so if we are able to get it up and running, I'll let you know.

HS is so strange.  According to my research, it is common for symptoms to vary so widely:

The seizure always starts in one region [of the brain] but may disperse to others.  That is why the symptoms are different each time, and why the duration and recovery is so varied, but they are not epileptic or convulsive seizures.

I am grateful that around 1:30P today, my symptoms lifted.  All of a sudden the horizon tilted upward to my left and then tilted upward to my right - much like the flight landing gauge pictured above.  I stopped what I was doing and without notice, just like that, the horizon balanced and my symptoms were gone. De plane landed.  I have enjoyed clarity of mind and energy the rest of the day.  It has been glorious!

I'm almost afraid to go to bed because I never know what the next day will bring, but I think I'll borrow what I've learned in Unity:

EXPECT AMAZING THINGS

And so it is.  Goodnight everyone.  Sweet dreams.  Rise and shine tomorrow with the knowledge that this is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it.  (Psalm 118:24)