6/26/15-Road Trip Anyone?

You might recall that I recently advertised that I needed a driver. Here's a pic of the flyer I originally distributed.

I put that flyer up here at my RV park, on FB and on Craig's List. I didn't get a single bite. Nada. Nothing.

Then one day I'm talking to my neighbors next door and they are visiting with a friend that had just been to the R.O.T. Rally. (I miss my motorcycle!) They introduce me and he hands me his card....

Nope. Not kidding. "Driver". Just like that Spirit puts a driver in my front yard, almost literally. It reminds me of when the Universe put my beloved RV, Fiona (RIP), in the driveway next door to where I worked. I love the way God shows up in my life!

So, I have this card and I sit with it for awhile. Then I call Bear Eagle and arrange to have lunch with him and his wife, Jane. It doesn't matter whether I get to take this trip or not. I will forever be grateful for God bringing such lovely people in to my life. I am blessed by so many beautiful beings that know how to freely express love and positive energy on this earth. It is nothing less than awe-mazing.

Meet Bear Eagle and his lovely wife, Jane. I love them already.

So from there ....

Instead of a driver to pull my trailer, the three of us began looking at options for Bear Eagle to drive my car. Road Trip!

But the $$ numbers to hire a driver just don't work on my budget. So, no road trip with Bear Eagle, but a forever friendship with him and Jane. Yeah, life is good.

And here's the current dealio....

If there is someone out there that feels called to go on a road trip with me and share a hotel room along the way, I will provide the car and cover the gasoline and lodging. Your part will be to drive and cover expenses for your own food. That's it.

Dates: 7/10 - 7/21
Destinations: Dallas, Unity Village MO, Clear Lake IA, back through Arkansas and Dallas again. Starting and stopping in Georgetown.

Any takers? I want to make it to a retreat for my job in Iowa on 7/13, and along the way to and from we can make as many or as few stops as you want. I need to know you or at least know someone who knows you that I am comfortable with, and no smokers please. Other than that, let's go have some fun!

Road trip!

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Coming July 2015

Kaleidoscope 9, a collection of unrelated short stories by .... me

Enjoy an excerpt from A Sense of Wonder:

"She was grateful when her friend invited her to go with him to run some errands. She was going to get to GO. Her reaction reminded her of her furbabies. Mention the word "go" to them and they bounce up and down, run in circles, talk, pant and lead the way to the car. She forced herself to follow her friend instead of leading, and chuckled at the thought of panting. When he couldn't see, as he walked around to the driver's side, she couldn't help but quickly clap her hands and smile ear-to-ear. He opened the door and they were off."

6/25/15 TBT-In Just Two Years

In keeping with the FB tradition of Throw Back Thursday, I thought I'd go back in time, but only by two years. It is hard for me to believe that just two years ago I was living in the lowest socioeconomic area of the entire greater Arlington area. It was 80% African American, 20% Hispanic and Debra.

It is a long story of how I came to be there, and that is for another blog post or book, but let's just say I've come a long way in awakenings and co-creating with Spirit. The time that I lived there is indelibly etched in my brain, and my heart. Even though my history in New Thought goes back at least a decade before this, my foundation in spirituality began while living there. From that, for that, I would do it all over again and I am grateful for every night, every person that graced me with their presence.

On June 1, 2013, I moved out of that apartment and thanks to many people, I moved here:

I also left the warehouse where I had been working and it wasn't without trepidation that I left the security and friends I had developed there. Hello friends at MCP! I felt called to be of service to my Unity family at Unity of Arlington, as well as to work with my dear friend and Spiritual Leader, David Howard. And I did so knowing that I would not have health insurance. For someone with a traumatic brain injury, that was a leap of faith. And, to have the knowings I have today, I'd do it all over again.

Around the same time Spirit released me from my calling at Unity of Arlington, I bought my long-dreamed-of RV Van, Fiona. I also began showing some of the symptoms I am being treated for today. At the time, I thought the symptoms were from the long hours I had been working so I forged ahead. Almost simultaneously we found out David would soon be leaving for Unity of Colorado, and I was offered a position at Unity of Dallas. It seemed to me, the next best logical step.

It wasn't long however before I had to meet with the Senior Ministers and tell them my symptoms were escalating. Shortly on the heels of that meeting I drove Fiona to a family reunion in April. The reunion was in Goliad, and I stayed at the State Park. The entire trip was heavenly.

One of the symptoms that was becoming problematic in Dallas was that I kept getting lost - not just turned around or missing exits. Lost. Unable to process how to get "unlost". Lost. On one such occasion I called my former boss and friend (the senior ministers at UD were out of town), and told him my dilemma. The thing was, I had been sitting in a parking lot crying for quite some time before I even made the call. I had already missed one important meeting. I just wanted to get to work.

It never dawned on me to use my GPS or go into a store and ask for directions. I used the only lifeline that I could conjure. David was on a conference call but made himself available to help me get out of that tyrannical parking lot. I was less than a mile from the church. When I finally got there, and got centered, I called my staff in and was completely transparent about my situation. I told them I would meet with the ministers when I got back from my family reunion and together we would decide how to move forward.

When I got to Goliad, I found that I was able to process and think within the peace and the tranquility there, better than I had been able to in a long while. Of course it helped that I didn't fear getting lost because there are only two stop lights in the town! It felt harmonious from the moment I landed there. The family reunion is another blog post I need to write. Stories don't get much better than that one (coming soon). I stayed an extra 2 days connecting with Spirit and contemplating my future.

After I returned to Dallas, my symptoms returned and I began falling, repeatedly. When I busted my ankle, I decided to listen to Spirit. Without logic, I felt that I was called to leave Unity of Dallas and turn in my notice at the RV park where I lived. I argued for awhile until I busted my ankle a second time by falling out of my RV.

I went to work at the Goliad State Park in June of 2014. Whew, 3 jobs in one year. That has to be a record!

I just knew that I would be able to live in that sleepy, quiet town and work at the State Park for ten years. That would allow me to rebuild my state retirement which would have meant I could retire in ten years fully vested. It was a wonderful goal. And it was not meant to be.

By October 2014, I could no longer multi-task at all and could not process consistently enough to work reliably. I was told I needed to put my affairs in order, assign a legal guardian and research long-term medical care.

I was blessed to be able to make it to the USCR Conference at Unity of Houston that month, and was even able to sign a song with the fabulous Rev. Michael Gott. But I also had several symptomatic episodes while there.

Then the gears started rolling for me to move back to the Austin area. My friend Leslie volunteered to be my POA and guardian. The Palace Purchasers offered to let me move Super Spree and continue to live in it until we know what is what. And Leslie found me this most amazing RV park to call home. I continue to work for the Region and I now see several doctors.

Why am I sharing all of this you ask?

Because in all of this, Spirit led the way and I have been blessed beyond measure.

Why is that important to you?

Because the blessings are uplifting and magical and I know with all my heart that the same sweet Spirit that flows through my life, flows through you.

Just two short years ago I was living in "the hood." And only 2 years before that I had opened up to the possibility that I might be published one day and live in an RV.

My short stories will be published next month and I've now lived in 2 RVs as a fulltimer! I have dreams of being a van dweller one day, independent, able to drive and with the title in my name, debt free! Hey, it's a concept.

And it can happen.

I have met some wonderful, awe-mazing people on my journey. And I've had major spiritual shifts and awakenings that are a direct result of my illness. All of which are priceless.

I know love, feel love and have become love. I am Divine Love Unlimited. So are you. We are One.

Whatever your hopes and dreams are, whatever your circumstances are, Love What Is. I learned that from Byron Katie and one of the most wonderful, loving beings I know - the fabulous Karen Giles.

To each of you - know this, claim it and own it:

You are loved beyond belief. You are love.

Namaste.

6/24/25 WW-So Blessed To Live Here!

Wordless Wednesday

I am starting a tradition that I am snagging from my blogger friend, Sandra, the Mad Snapper. She says the idea came from another blog actually titled, Wordless Wednesday. That's nice, and I'm sure that blog works for many, but it is way too way over the top for me. Brain overload. So, from now on, I'll just do what Sandra does - genius that she is. I am going to give you a title and then some pics. Voila! Wordless Wednesday. Enjoy!

So Blessed To Live Here!

6/23/15-Pushing the Envelope

Bentley got groomed this last Friday. He was thrilled to have a professional job and to not have to sit for hours on end while Mom tries her hand(s) at being a pseudo-groomer. He looks quite fetching, don't you think?

All in all, Friday was a fairly brutal day. I'm not sure how Bentley fared at the groomer, but I was supposed to pick him up at 1. Poor little guy. I didn't get there until 5.

The day started okay. Leslie, John, and my case manager at the advocacy center all agreed that I could try driving to BBT. It's beyond the original agreed upon 10-mile radius, but we all thought it was worth a try since I go there so often.

I dropped Bentley off at 9A (very near my home), and headed to BBT for my 10A appointment (17 miles away). I should have had plenty of time to spare. But I-35 traffic and construction evidently created a time warp. I walked through the door at BBT precisely at 9:58, signed in and sat down. I think I was in shock.

My case manager, the beautiful Alejandra called my name at 10:05. We sat down in her office and she asked me how I was doing. I couldn't answer at first. Then I broke out in tears and began shaking. Driving that far pushed the envelope to the point of breaking. I don't want to ever go through that again.

We agreed that *IF* I feel like it for my next appointment, I will try the toll road (direct route with only 3 turns, no construction and minimal traffic), and have no other venues on my list for the day. We'll see. For now, I am comfortable simply tooling to the store, the pharmacy, the dog park and to Sonic for the occasional happy hour sweet tea - all within a 10-mile radius of my serene home. I'm good with just that and beyond grateful for the opportunity and ability.

Here is a pic of Alejandra being camera shy. Her sense of humor and caring nature put me at ease by the time my appointment was over.

My next appointment was with my wonderful benefits coordinator, Gabriella, but not until 12 noon. I welcomed the opportunity to sit quietly for awhile. Alejandra let me wait in the back lobby instead of the main lobby where it can be quiet crowded and noisy. Thank you, Alejandra!

At 12:30 I went up front to the receptionist to make sure they knew where I was. She assured me Gabriella was just running behind and that she would make sure she knew I was in the back.

At 1:30 I checked again. I finally got to see Gabriella at 2:15. That is not a complaint, merely an observation. Social workers in all arenas are overworked and underpaid. You will never hear a complaint out of me for the services they render. Time with Gabriella is quality time. She digs in and gets to work (as has been my experience with all at BBT). If she was spending extra time with clients, I was confident it was necessary. Besides, it might be me needing extra help next time.

Turns out, my time for extra care was this time. The documents I needed her help with turned out to be quite problematic. Then, get this! Gabriella went next door and bought us both lunch! Jack-in-the-Box grilled sandwiches never tasted so good. 2.5 hours later all of my documents were completed, signed and faxed to SSA. No small task. And every question was asked and answered with a smile. Thank you, Gabriella!

Modified pic from Google search of pile-papers

So, like I said, I didn't get to pick Bentley up until 5P. It was his first time at this groomer and I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do about it. They did a good job on his cut but they weren't personable at all. That could be because I was so late, but I want to entrust my Bentley with only those I feel are warm and friendly. He'll have to put up with mom doing the grooming again.

Right as I got home (6P - a LONG day), a new neighbor invited me to dinner. I almost said no but it was actually quite nice sitting down to be fed without having to think about preparation. And it was fun getting to know her better. She has 2 wheaten terriers. My last dog was a wheatable, a wheaten terrier mix named Bear. He lived to 16. Her dogs remind me of him and they are adorable. I'll try to get a pic soon.

I joined my neighbor for dinner Friday night because my plan was to rest on Saturday, but I didn't realize I was out of dog food. I can make do with most anything in the pantry but not so much for my furbabies. After Friday, a trip to Wally World was really pushing the envelope.

Ugh on running out of dog food and ugh on being out in crowds on Saturday. But I did it. It took me 2 hours and I at first went to the wrong shopping center, but I kept going. KOKO! My dogs were so thankful to have food they sent a thank you note to my ex for the loaner car. Buses don't run on weekends. Being able to go to the store myself also kept me from having to impose on friends. Thank you again, John! You saved the day for many.

It was raining on Sunday so I didn't risk trying to drive to church, especially after the driving debacles on Friday and Saturday. I figured two days in a row was my quota for pushing the envelope. As it was, I ended up having nose bleeds and vertigo. I stayed in bed and recharged in preparation for my schedule at work over the next two weeks which is intense. I can do it, with the help of my friends, but it will leave room for little else. I was grateful to feel better by Monday and be able to get some work done.

I have so many wonderful and exciting things happening in my life. I'm driving again, sort of, lol. My cousins will be here for a visit soon and I get to go to the water park with them. Plus I get to meet their lovely granddaughter! I can hardly wait. It will be my first major outing. Fingers crossed and prayers please that I will be okay with the noise and the crowd.

My first book will be available soon, and I may get to take a road trip in July. For someone who wasn't sure whether or not she'd be a vegetable by now, life sure is awe-mazing.

Leslie and I are ramping up our efforts to get my referrals completed for a neurologist, and in the meantime, I live in gratitude every day for my many blessings. I hope you do too. There is always something to be grateful for.

6/21/15-Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to the man I never knew. My birth father took his life when I was 10 months young. I look just like him. And seemingly inexplicably, I love him. I am grateful for the relatives I have through him. They are some of the most wonderful, most kind and loving people I have ever met. And we didn't even meet until 2012. Well, except for my cousins through his half-siblings. I met them when I was 13 and the same goes.

And Happy Father's Day to the only man I ever willingly called Dad. To this day, the best man I've ever known, and I miss him to my core.

This picture was taken in 2010, our last Christmas together. If I had only known.

Life can change on a dime. Shower the world with love. Be love. I love you.

Happy Father's Day!

6/19/15-Siblings Squabbling in Vehicles

Nonni says, "Mom! My brothers are taking up all the room!

And Zuber keeps touching me!"

To which he replies, "No I'm Not!"

"You are too."

"Am not."

"Whatever."

And Bentley? He says, "Who cares! Wind in the hair!"

Happy Father's Day Weekend!

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Coming July 2015

Kaleidoscope 9, a collection of unrelated short stories by .... me

Enjoy an excerpt from Happy Birthday Mr. President:

"She sat the clock back down and tried to shake the cobwebs out of her head. She hated working nights but was very grateful to have found the work. It had taken her ten months to find anything, and with any luck she’d be able to get the heat turned back on before the next cold front hit. She shivered and rubbed her arms."

6/18/15 - My Patio View

This is just one of the wonderful things I get to watch from my beautiful patio.

I also get to see deer.

And cows - very unexpectedly.

No one knew what to do with them or from whence they came. So, when you live outside the city limits on the San Gabriel, "Who you gonna call?" Go Sheriffs!

The other night Bentley started stalking something in the grass. It scared me because I thought it might be a snake. It wasn't. It turns out we have a resident frog that also enjoys the new patio.

Sitting on the chair as though he expected to be served.

And speaking of Bentley, when one turns 13 as he did on June 2, and one's mom has the finest patio in the land, one gets to have a birthday party. His celebration was actually on time. I'm just late posting it. Happy birthday beautiful boy! You deserve a celebration all month long!

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Coming July 2015

Kaleidoscope 9, a collection of unrelated short stories by .... me

Enjoy this excerpt from The Blue Lady:

"The hair on the little old lady was even blue with a touch of silver that seemed to dance on her head. Her eyes were blue, vibrant blue like the Caribbean. I bet she was a looker in her younger days. Her crisp two-piece suit was royal blue and she donned a matching pill hat, the small boxy kind you only see in the movies. And even though we’re in the 21st century, I almost expected her to have crisp, white gloves to match. She didn’t, but she did have the navy blue patent purse, complete with a silver clasp and a short leather band braced sturdily over her forearm. Her shoes matched exactly and the patent leather shone like moonlight on a lake."

6/17/15 - DIY Patio Planters

In my last post I told you about the wonders of John. While he was visiting, he also helped me decorate my patio. And he gave me the idea to take notes and pics for this DIY feature. Awesomeness!

The pic above is from Goliad. I used that blue tub for so many things. In this particular photo I had treated a fire ant bed and I used the tub to cover the mound so that it would protect my dogs and any wildlife that might wander through.

Here it is with three larger red tubs resting behind the Super Spree trailer in Georgetown. You ask yourself, "What? How did that happen?"

They are feed tubs that the Palace Purchasers no longer wanted so my friends Billy and Judy brought them to me. We've been friends for years and they live near me (here), but they also own land in Goliad (there). Sweet, right?

I knew exactly what I wanted to do with them. There is a certain type of planter-look I have wanted for a very long time. Finally, on Pinterest, I learned how to make them myself. All I needed were the tubs. Problem solved!

Still, the tubs have been sitting for a long time. It was not a project I could have done by myself. Like everything in my life, this was a team effort. Thank you everyone!

My neighbor drilled drain holes in the bottom for me. Thank you, Helen and Gavin!

Next, John and I scraped the labels off and cleaned them really well.

I chose Cocoa Brown with textured shimmer for the primary coat. I think it's a beautiful color and my friend Judy took me to the store and helped pick it out.

John put the clean, dry tubs on old shower curtains I had saved, and I started spraying.

It was a beautiful paint but the glitter, uh, I mean "shimmer" kept gumming up the nozzle. Gavin gave me the hint to turn it upside down for 5-10 seconds each time before I quit painting, and then shake and keep spraying. Nothing but air would come out, and that cleaned the nozzle. That solved the problem but by then I had already clogged 3 cans and I only had 4! So John managed to clear one nozzle and we kept rotating the nozzle from can to can. For this project it took 4 cans. I did not paint the inside or the bottom center.

Note: I highly recommend plastic or rubber gloves. I chose neutral colors but some people on Pinterest had a lot of tubs and a large group of them look really good in a variety of bright colors. One person painted theirs with glow-in-the-dark paint and it made for a spectacular nightscape.

I also used a can of black paint, satin finish.

This can had a different nozzle and it made a huge difference in how long I could keep painting. I'm not sure how it would have worked with glitter in the paint, but it sure was easier on my hand.

I attempted speckling with a brush, but I ended up just spraying the black here and there in no particular pattern. I really wasn't sure what I was doing, but it was fun. I like the way it gave the planters depth. I also used the black paint on the inside of the blue tub a few inches down to where the dirt would be filled, but I left the inside of the other tubs red.

Fortunately, the RV Park where I live has gravel, sand and piles of compost for residents to use. All of which we made good use of for this project.

"We" put 4 shovels of gravel in the bottom of each tub.

My neighbor Judy gave me weed barrier fabric and John cut that to fit on top of the gravel.

I had been saving one gallon milk jugs for this project. We filled them with water and put two in the bottom of the red planters and one in the bottom of the blue one. That way we didn't have to fill the entire tub with potting soil.

Keep in mind that I had no idea how I was ever going to do this project. I just knew I wanted to so I was collecting items in faith. Thanks again team!

We then started filling the planters with soil from the compost pile. This took two truckloads and this time I really do mean "we." What with the heat, the humidity and the mosquitoes, it took both of us to "get 'er done."

Actually, originally, I had planned for this to be a 3-day project.
Day 1 - Prep
Day 2 - Paint
Day 3 - Plant
But I forgot. All afternoon and evening I couldn't figure out why it was so laborious and taking so long. I had spent hours comparing my notes to Pinterest and planning it out so that it wouldn't be stressful or too difficult. By my calculations we should have been through by mid-afternoon at the latest. I felt bad for John and I felt bad for me! Seriously, not once could I reconcile the difference. Until we were done - 12 hours later and were discussing plans. Oh! So that's what we were supposed to do the next day.

It freed up the next day but I gotta tell ya - this whole TBI thing is trippy sometimes. And the 2-in-1 day cost me. I wasn't really present the next day. Fortunately, John stayed an extra day.

It was a treat to finally see the plants in their new homes that evening. We found the Canna Lillies growing wild in the compost pile, and John bought the rest of the plants and the shepherd hooks when he bought the patio table. Merci beaucoup, mi amigo.

I chose Moss Rose to withstand the heat and sun, and Citronella plants to help with the mosquitoes so I can enjoy my patio all summer and Fall.

The flowers aren't in bloom and the Citronella hasn't filled in yet, but here is the finished look. I love it! What do you think?

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COMING JULY 2015

Kaleidoscope 9, a collection of unrelated short stories by ... me

Enjoy this excerpt from Coming and Going:

"The parade was organizing and band members tuning. It wouldn’t be long. She saw Angela setting up chairs across the street. She had convinced Lucy to let Angela, one of her best field agents, sit with the boy and pretend to be his mother. It was a wonderful coincidence that Angela looked like Lucy and was trained in profiling and hostage prevention. Things were going according to plan. Erin turned to take one last look at the goon in the diner."

6/16/15 - So This Happened

Isn't it lovely? It's an early birthday gift for me, and my birthday isn't until July! Awesomeness!

Oh yeah, and this too.

Now I bet I've got you wondering.

But wait, there's more!

They are gifts from my ex-husband. That's right, my ex. Well, the car isn't exactly mine - he bought it for me to use. It's a 2000 Cadillac. How generous is that?!?

We've been divorced for almost as long as we were married, and it turns out we are better as friends than we ever were as mates.

I have to give a shout-out too to my bff Leslie. It was her FIL that hooked us up with the sellers. Oorah!

AND, we confirmed that John's pup is Nonni's half-brother! The breeder was glad to get an update on Nonni and her full brother Soto that lives with mommy Leslie.

Nonni and Zuber

So, by now you understand that John's visit was special. And I also have to give him kudos for not losing it when I left the passenger door of his truck wide open while we went on a test drive - with my purse in the seat! Going from dealer to dealer, listening to conversations, the traffic - all of it was too much for me to take in even though I was just tagging along. I tried my best to keep up, but that was a big sign for both of us that I was maxing out. Fortunately, the salesman had noticed and hung around the truck until we returned. Most people would have stopped right there and said no way am I going to give you a car to drive, but John simply said he trusted me not to drive when I wasn't processing well.

Thank you, John! I'm quite certain that you belong in some sort of hall of fame for ex-husbands. If you ever run across such, let me know and I will nominate you.

I am so blessed by so many people. I actually, can quite emphatically state that I don't think I would be alive today if it were not for the generosity of those who have carried me through my illness to this point.

My new meds help immensely so I have great hope that I not only will be able to remain independent, I am flourishing in ways I never thought possible. For a while, I thought I was becoming a vegetable. What I thought were going to be horrendous, unbearable limitations on my life I actually now see as turning points filled with spirituality and love. I'll write more about that in another post, but it is impossible to come up with the words to say thank you to those who have saved my life.

Thank you to the Palace Purchasers, to Leslie, John (the magnifico ex), longtime friends Steve, Tracy, Carolyn.... the list goes on. My family, David Howard, my Unity and New Thought family, my tribe - including the scrapmaniacs, the many people who donated to YouCaring, my coach at Write for Healing-Angelique, Glenn, and the people who give me shout-outs, IMs and uplifting comments and replies on my posts - all of you have saved my life. My doctors too. Thank you.

By the way, my last nasty fall cost me $750 and that doesn't even count my out-of-pocket expenses for meds and treatments for my actual "perceived" illness. I have quality medical care because of the support I've received. You all are awe-mazing!

So, going back to the pics above - you may be thinking.... She shouldn't be driving! Well, my meds have put me back on the road. More or less. Otherwise I wouldn't be. I've actually only been behind the wheel 3 times and I'm limited to a 10-mile radius during low-traffic times, but there is such great freedom in not only being able to drive again, but in being able to think that well again. I can't help but cry as I write this. I even made it to church recently. I haven't gone before because the bus doesn't run on weekends.

To be fair, someone from my Unity family would have been glad to come get me, but the truth is - I wasn't sure I could handle it. Last time I went to church in Goliad, the service didn't even get started and I had to leave. Noise and/or commotion has inevitably caused seizures over the last several months so I have been hesitant to go and put someone in the position again of having to leave and bring me home. So now, with my new meds, I am having fun pushing the limits just a bit.

No worries. I'm not going to go crazy - figuratively or literally. It's just that I have a new leash on life. Oh yeah, and a new patio table, and a new-to-me car.

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PS. It took me 9 hours, 3 days and 2 people editing this post, but I am writing. Writing means the world to me. The time it takes doesn't matter.

A friend of mine is helping me and says she can publish my book, Kaleidoscope 9, in July 2015. Woohoo!!!!!! It is a collection of 8 short stories I wrote some time ago, and one written more recently around functioning with a traumatic brain injury.

Here's an excerpt from Freedom In Death:

"The priest did his thing, and I’m sure it was eloquent. I didn’t listen. My mind kept going back in time to the last time I saw the bastard in the coffin. He had been arrested again, and I had gone to the jail, again. Only this time I went to tell him that I wasn’t bailing him out and he would never see me again. Ever. He exploded in screams. I could still hear him ranting and raving as I walked through the lobby and left the police station. I never looked back, and he never saw me again."