7/10/15-Realization or Revelation

I have awe-mazing, fun, wonderful and loving people in my life. These are but a few. I am blessed.

I shared in my last post that the road trip is ON! Bettie and I head out tomorrow afternoon. As I said, I am blessed. And so excited!

Yesterday I had an appointment with the appointed doctor for SSA, Social Security Administration. It was my disability eligibility determination appointment. Now, that's a mouthful! Thank you dear friend Cathy for driving me.

It was 2.5 hours of grueling tests, and it was exhausting. It was a very emotional experience to realize so much of what I can no longer do. Sad many times over. I cried a lot. AND all is well, always, no matter what.

The doctor was sweet - very kind, and reassuring - almost apologetic for the ordeal. I wish it were possible to add her to my list of growing friends. Evidently my application has been fast-tracked and I am grateful for that since apparently I can no longer do basic math or re-tell short stories that were just relayed to me. It is okay. It is what it is. At least for now.

I choose to focus instead on the many wonderful people and events in my life - such as this trip. And I feel a sense of urgency to spread the word that Love is all there is.

The kind doctor also told me yesterday that she has seen many cases where people with symptoms like mine can stabilize for several years. She seemed to add for emphasis, "Three to six years in fact. You'll be okay."

She is right about that. No matter what, I am okay. In fact, I am great. I realize that now, right now, in this moment, every moment, is the time for me to let everyone know how much I love them. It is the time, right now, for me to give and receive as much love as I possibly can, and to encourage others to do the same - a realization that has turned into a revelation.

It is a revelation that became a mantra for me almost a month ago after reading an Elizabeth Gilbert FB post. I can no longer find it but she wrote something close to, "Good morning to all those who are the shit. Have a great day!" And she went on to say something similar to, "And to those of you who are still merely working through the shit, I wish you a special blessed day" (or something like that).

It absolutely made my jaw drop. I have been working "through" the shit my whole life. Up until that point, I was still working through the shit. I thought to myself, "No way! I am not only working toward being the shit. I AM the shit!"

It might not be the proper language for some, but it was empowering for me. I claimed it and owned it the rest of the day, and offered many praises of gratitude for realizing the difference. God was able to speak to me through a FB post in a way that had not pierced my thick skull in 50+ years. I was still in communion with Spirit around that the next day when Love flooded my trailer, enveloped me and finally became me. It was perhaps the most profound experience I have had to date. Love like that is powerful, it is consuming, and it is pure. My heart exploded in gratitude and I wept.

That experience transformed "I am the shit" to "I Am Divine Love Unlimited."

Grateful beyond belief.

That led to the revelation that I want everyone to have that realization. I want everyone to know love and be love - not from an outside source but from the One Source that is all. OMNI, including within you and me.

That gave way to a revelation....

I Am Divine Love Unlimited.

And So Are You.

That is everything. And my only desire, for whatever time I have left on this Earth is to live from that, be that, and expand awareness in that. It's not new so I don't know whether it is a realization or a revelation, I just know it is everything.

The next day the revelations continued and I was given the idea for my 3rd book. Which leads me to my bucket list.

One of the biggest gifts my illness has given me, other than the fact that I can still write, is that I have taken a full inventory of my life and I have been able to move into radical acceptance. I have come to terms with all my regrets, all the events in my life I formerly saw as mistakes, and I have moved into complete gratitude for every one. Love replaced negative beliefs and harmful emotions I have been carrying with me for as long as I can remember. I am now able to love not only what is, but what was. That is huge!

I'm not sure where the concept of a bucket list came from, but for me it represents keeping my slate clean so that I have no more regrets. It means living life fully and out loud without fear of what others might think. And doing so from heartfelt, infinite love.

I have some decisions to make, and there are still a lot of unknowns (of course) on what my life will look like while I work on achieving my goals, but here are the things I do know:

• Angelique, my beautiful friend, editor and life coach at Write For Healing, is finishing up the formatting on my first book, Kaleidoscope 9 (a collection of 9 unrelated short stories), and she is working really hard to get it ready for publication next week. Wow!

• I have an agent at Balboa Press that calls me once a month to check on the progress of my 2nd book, Ariana, Star Giver. It is a series that was born during a guided meditation with Aliza Robinson at Unity of Dallas two years ago.

• I now know the title and the premise for the book I will work on after that (stay tuned).

• And finally, I know to my core that I am standing on a virtual springboard, ready to be used by Spirit, for Spirit - whatever is mine to do - to help others believe ....

I Am Divine Love Unlimited.

And So Are You.

My friend David has written a wonderful article around his own spiritual awakening titled, "The Transforming Power of Love," and he captures the spiritual essence eloquently and with great beauty (here).

I am reminded of a traditional hymn, "Love Lifted Me." My life is really just beginning, and it starts with a wonderful journey tomorrow. Road trip!